Annie's
Birthday
To hold space for someone in truth means laying down your expectations of who they should be, and choosing the slow, patient labor of meeting them in their wreckage long after the crowd leaves.
The album
Did you know her parents are famous?
Decidedly offbeat, brimming with clever raillery, intensely personal and exceedingly comical; right up until it concludes with a surprisingly sweet, grounded sentiment.
Pray allow me to present an account, rendered across eight lyrical movements, of a most extraordinary attachment to Miss Annie—a celebrated actress of vivid auburn locks, an ageless countenance, and a heart as cunning and wilful as any Slytherin. She is widely deemed the most spirited and untamed creature in the entire company.
Narrated by a quiet gentlewoman who customarily remains behind the artist’s lens, these pieces depict that unuttered harmony which binds two women amidst the daily tumult of set life. Through hasty preparations behind the scenes, clever satirical sketches, regrettable bodily embellishments, absurd birthday offerings, and the incessant whispering of society, these songs trace a singular bond born of shared madness and complete mutual devotion. Set against vibrant bass lines, delicate keys, and tender acoustic airs, the narrative balances playful, whimsical levity with an enduring, profound esteem.
The songs
Hands Under the Shirt (UFO Mark)
Hands Under the Shirt (UFO Mark)
Loud red hair walking through the door
I’ve seen a ghost like this once before
Reminds me of a face from back in school
We had a massive crash, now I’m playing it cool
Hands inside your shirt, mic’d up in a flash
So fast nobody saw, slick and rash
Quick with the wire, clipping it fast
A total pro make-it-look-a-breeze cast
You had a number four printed on your skin
And I warned you I’d mark you all over again
You thought it was impossible, thought you were clear
Till I drew a little UFO right around here
Right on your ankle strap, drawn with a pen
Beaming you up to the stars again
Marked your leg before you even knew
An alien sign designed just for you
You loved the quick setup, smiled at the sight
While I sat there awkward in the sound stage light
Quick with the wire, clipping it fast
A total pro make-it-look-a-breeze cast
You had a number four printed on your skin
And I warned you I’d mark you all over again
You thought it was impossible, thought you were clear
Till I drew a little UFO right around here
I didn’t know a thing when you walked in the frame
Didn’t know the legacy attached to your name
Just a flying saucer on a strap of leather
Connecting two awkward souls together
Quick with the wire, clipping it fast
A total pro make-it-look-a-breeze cast
You had a number four printed on your skin
And I warned you I’d mark you all over again
You thought it was impossible, thought you were clear
Till I drew a little UFO right around here
Loud red hair and an alien sign
Marked your ankle, now you’re on the line...
Did you know your parents are famous?
Pat, Mat, & Malfoy
Pat, Mat, & Malfoy
You pulled up your phone on a break mid-take
Showed me two goofy guys in a classic mistake
Czech memes on your screen, Pat and Mat in the frame
Fixing up a house while they stumble in the game
Making TikTok's of a Czech at Hogwarts school
Doing little sketches, acting uncool
Slytherin green on your bedroom shelf
Draco Malfoy and Hiddleston’s self
I took those two handymen, put ’em in the mix
A little digital magic for a mid-shift fix
You loved the joke, said it made your day
Now we’re moving far past just a wordplay
While the cameras were rolling and the set was busy
I sat in the corner with my brain in a dizzy
Photoshop open, ignoring the clock
Building you an edit out of Czech building blocks
Cut, paste, layer, adjust the lighting right
Didn't need to wait to work on it at night
Spent the whole damn shift just making you smile
Making sure the joke stayed stylish and wild
Slytherin green on your bedroom shelf
Draco Malfoy and Hiddleston’s self
I took those two handymen, put ’em in the mix
A little digital magic for a mid-shift fix
You loved the joke, said it made your day
Now we’re moving far past just a wordplay
Shifted past the hours on the studio floor
Leaving basic small talk right outside the door
Two people sharing jokes that nobody else gets
Quiet little moments hidden right behind the sets
An unwritten connection where the logic bends
Starting something closer than coworkers or acquaintances
Slytherin green on your bedroom shelf
Draco Malfoy and Hiddleston’s self
I took those two handymen, put ’em in the mix
A little digital magic for a mid-shift fix
You loved the joke, said it made your day
Now we’re moving far past just a wordplay
Green tie, dark hair, edits on display
Pat and Mat fixing things along the way
Spent my shift making art for your eyes...
Did you know your parents are famous?
Vibing Under the Needle
Vibing Under the Needle
Corner café, sitting across the table
Comparing our bloodlines—both pretty unstable
“Uriash, don’t call!” we laugh out loud
We both come from a deeply psychotic crowd
I pitched my fantasy series real smooth
You bought me dumplings, put me in a mood
Gossip spilling out, hot tea on the floor
Then you pulled out a needle right outside the door
You told me 'bout the fanfics that you like to write
Hogwarts smut with magic system locked down tight
Great world-building hidden in the dark and deep
While you took ink to my skin to keep
Hands shaking hard, face red with regret
The most panicked tattoo artist that I ever met
I pitched my fantasy series real smooth
You bought me dumplings, put me in a mood
Gossip spilling out, hot tea on the floor
Then you pulled out a needle right outside the door
You inked my arm, your hands started to shake
You were mortified by the line you made
You were panicking, thinking it was ruined and wrong
While I was just vibing, humming this song
I pitched my fantasy series real smooth
You bought me dumplings, put me in a mood
Gossip spilling out, hot tea on the floor
Then you pulled out a needle right outside the door
Permanent ink and a dumpling tray
Spelling out magic in your own wild way...
Did you know your parents are famous?
Calendar Check
Calendar Check
I threw a party, didn’t think you’d drop by
Then you showed up with a gleam in your eye
Handed me some soap—is there something I smell?
Plus a tiny little vial, hard to tell
We played Bang! and everybody cheated fast
You were so lost, completely outclassed
Had to join my team just to survive the round
Sweetest little presence in the whole damn town
Fragile body hurting, but you stayed right there
Playing card games with your messy red hair
Next year rolls around, my phone starts to ring
“Is my calendar right about this birthday thing?”
Your body was fragile, hurting and sore
But you still dragged yourself right through my door
Handed me Demons by Dostoyevsky in a wrapper so neat
Brought my favorite author to make the day complete
Had to join my team just to survive the round
Sweetest little presence in the whole damn town
Fragile body hurting, but you stayed right there
Playing card games with your messy red hair
Soap bars, vials, and Russian prose
How you remember what nobody knows
Checking your calendar, showing up proud
Standing so soft in a noisy crowd
Had to join my team just to survive the round
Sweetest little presence in the whole damn town
Fragile body hurting, but you stayed right there
Playing card games with your messy red hair
Pages of Dostoyevsky on my floor
Fragile bones walking through my door...
Did you know your parents are famous?
Gen Alpha Forever
Gen Alpha Forever
I tracked down a set just a block from my place
Walked right up to see your familiar face
You’re playing fifteen, late Gen Z or Alpha kid
Blending right in like you always did
When are you gonna look over eighteen?
Are you forty when the age gap is seen?
Blessed by the genes, eternal youth curse
Playing a teenager couldn't be worse
Was heading home from shopping, took the long way 'round
Brought your favorite drink straight to the ground
Surprised you on set just to see you smile
Walked through the park for a little while
Ever since that day when we stood on the grass
That park was shut down, buried in the past
When are you gonna look over eighteen?
Are you forty when the age gap is seen?
Blessed by the genes, eternal youth curse
Playing a teenager couldn't be worse
Standing in the background watching you act
It’s a biological, gifted gene fact
A closed-down park and a cold drink in hand
Youngest looking actor in the whole damn land
When are you gonna look over eighteen?
Are you forty when the age gap is seen?
Blessed by the genes, eternal youth curse
Playing a teenager couldn't be worse
Still getting carded at thirty-five
Park is closed down, but the memory’s alive...
Did you know your parents are famous?
Barbie Hanger Party Kit
Barbie Hanger Party Kit
Surprise party night, I wore a nice dress
Nervous in the corner, I gotta confess
We never have time for our arts and crafts
So I brought a little kit just to get some laughs
The hanger was Barbie herself, quite a view
A craft kit to build it when you wanted to
I attached the rings you left at my place
To bring a big smile right to your face
You dug through the kit, so eager to see
Pulling out the wire so excitedly
Sliced your finger on the metal binding wire
Blood on the floor, set the party on fire
Unhinged and crazy, but lovely inside
The wildest party guest holding a wound wide
The hanger was Barbie herself, quite a view
A craft kit to build it when you wanted to
I attached the rings you left at my place
To bring a big smile right to your face
Finger bleeding over plastic and wire
Every craft night with you is a blaze of fire
Crazy and lovely, completely unhinged
And that’s the best part where our whole bond is hinged
The hanger was Barbie herself, quite a view
A craft kit to build it when you wanted to
I attached the rings you left at my place
To bring a big smile right to your face
Cut fingers, Barbie dolls, rings in a kit
Every weird craft moment is a total hit...
Did you know your parents are famous?
Emotionally Unavailable Boyfriend
Emotionally Unavailable Boyfriend
Met up again, same look on your face
Leaning back cool like you own the place
Wearing your oversized clothes, done with everyone’s noise
Pretty damn chill with that cold, unbothered poise
Cheesy flirting just to see how they react
Never serious, it’s just a boyfriend act—
That effortless stance you never lack
You’ve got that emotionally unavailable boyfriend vibe
While my love life’s the talk of the whole set tribe
Rumours running wild on sets everywhere
Saying I’m dating people here and there
Different sets, different partners they claim
So I made you the star of this dating game—
And this is the one rumour I gave a name
My reputation was already wide on the floor
With a different supposed partner at every door
So I told the makeup girlie that we were an item
Fed her the story just to ignite 'em
We posed for a couple’s pic, locked on my screen
The fakest romantic scene ever seen
We talk about film while the gossip takes flight
Using my dating myth just to do it right
You’ve got that emotionally unavailable boyfriend vibe
While my love life’s the talk of the whole set tribe
Rumours running wild on sets everywhere
Saying I’m dating people here and there
Different sets, different partners they claim
So I made you the star of this dating game—
And this is the one rumour I gave a name
You stand there totally chill, not giving a fuck
While I’m engineering our romantic luck
Cheesy lines tossed just to watch people stare
Lock screen photo showing us as a pair
Behind the scenes, whispering low
Let the crew think what they think they know
That emotionally unavailable boyfriend vibe...
Yeah, that emotionally unavailable boyfriend vibe...
You’ve got that emotionally unavailable boyfriend vibe
While my love life’s the talk of the whole set tribe
Rumours running wild on sets everywhere
Saying I’m dating people here and there
Different sets, different partners they claim
So I made you the star of this dating game—
And this is the one rumour I gave a name
Your cold boy aesthetic, my lock screen display
Fake dating stories I crafted away...
Did you know your parents are famous?
No Regrets on the Sound Stage
No Regrets on the Sound Stage
From that first red hair to the places we’ve been
You’re the sweetest kind of chaos I have ever seen
Measuring windows, taking elevators for a spin
With a magnifying glass that I forgot to bring back in
All these little moments make the long days glow
Best part of the job and the best part of the show
Strangely cut from the very same cloth
Just a different piece of clothing worn by us both
You stand in front of the lens looking grand
I stay behind the camera, best team in the land
So happy for the bond that we get to share
A connection like ours is so wonderfully rare
No regrets, just smiles for everything we’ve done
Turning every single shift into pure fun
I admire, respect, and appreciate your heart
So grateful that we met right from the start
Strangely cut from the very same cloth
Just a different piece of clothing worn by us both
You stand in front of the lens looking grand
I stay behind the camera, best team in the land
Standing in the light, staying in the shade
Look at all the magic and memories we’ve made
From the sound stage floor to the final frame
So glad I got to learn your iconic name
Strangely cut from the very same cloth
Just a different piece of clothing worn by us both
You stand in front of the lens looking grand
I stay behind the camera, best team in the land
I admire, respect, and appreciate you Annie...
Just gotta ask one last thing before we end:
Did you know you need to be more gay to be my girlfriend?
The Old Lady Will Now Explain Herself
May you enjoy a most delightful, if fashionably belated, celebration of your natal day!
